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An aging, Capra-esque motion picture director named Frank Bailey tries to direct his last movie prior to retiring, an excellent, old-fashioned Christmas film implied to touch the heart. Returning to the set, his re-hiring of Bailey is followed by a series of ever-escalating Christmas miracles, culminating in an appearance by Mitch Miller and the Pope, and the Soviet Union revealing their switch to democracy, and the film characters (even the director who got fired and the towel-clad actresses playing teen ladies) end in tune.

( c) 2014 The Second City Inc.

on the last episode of SCTV a holiday.did you hear the most recent Frank Bailey.came out of retirement to make a.Christmas feel oh come on you know Frank.Bailey the movie director oh he made.some fantastic films now everyone that was.wonderful however you ‘re going to try it one.more time you understand Frank tummy ‘s gonna.give you a great Christmas film Frank.Bailey is passe he ‘s dated I can ‘ t.believe it I give that guy his first.chance to direct the motion picture in 30 years.and what is he giving me sentimental.schlock Simmons what you think you doing.all right everybody that ‘s a wrap for.today.starting tomorrow there ‘s gon na be a few.major changes on this motion picture and now wait.a second Simmons I believe those decisions.should be left at the director wear ‘ t you.yes I do.meet my hot new director mr. Toby Durant.you ‘ll believe what I pay you to think.Ginny they ‘ll set up a casting call for.tomorrow ladies 15 to 15 and a half with.well shaped bodies however nice young faces.you understand but women ‘s shapes this.Christmas motion picture needs to earn money that ‘s. the bottom line.sorry however I ‘m gon na need to let you go.don ‘ t take it personally just business.you ‘re in an unfortunate state mr. Simmons but I.believe all hope may not be lost yet.vil can anybody hear me daddy Fitzgibbon.what ‘s incorrect is that Krebs he ‘s decided.to break his agreement.no he won ‘ t lease us the land we require to.put the new orphanage on who is this.first does he deal on the entire town.practically featured me regular.programming will be preempted this evening to.bring you the following Christmas.special.in the spirit of the holiday season we.are happy to provide the conclusion of.its a terrific film where are you.taking me now Bailey baby cribs department.store on 34 th Street pushing my kid.around madam I ‘ll have you understand that I.am mr. Sawyer the floor manager for cut.department store oh helpful for you.go ahead have a nice Santa what you want.what ‘s your name little boy what would.you like for Christmas this year.that sounds quite reasonable to be he.don ‘ t comprehend see Ana we can ‘ t get.him the plane and the train with the.caboose simply tell him you ‘ll get him.some good nuts well don ‘ t you worry.about a thing I ‘ll look after Eddie it ‘s. a quite tall order however I believe Santa.can take care of it possibly you wear ‘ t hear.me so good Santa went broke we can ‘ t.afford all the toys and Eddie wants.weight down and out Sienna we ain ‘ t even.gonna make the payments on our mortgage.the Praetorian crabs department store.the only toy store in the area in some cases one.toy did you understand that the trains can fly.you desire the job I can ‘ t think what.I ‘m hearing.and in the Krebs outlet store you.get on my way this is gon na be the best.Christmas ever.I know baby Santa thank you.god bless.Merry Christmas to you boy what a sweet.man if I didn ‘ t know its worry was the.real thing exactly the issue look here.comes mr. Krebbs right-hand male get out.of my method mr. Pringle your job is.terminated currently mr. Krebs feels and.I ‘m in a hundred percent arrangement with.him that you are investing too much time.conversing with the children and not.enough time pressing his merchandise that.will be all mr. king go eliminate this man.oh ho ho now what would you like for.Christmas little girl 3rd aisle.Section D that Krebs is a problem what.kind of a man fires individuals at Christmas.don ‘ t take it personally it ‘s just.business.while this is getting weird.I ‘m getting out of here.I put on ‘ t like this town Bailey you hear.me.his crutch has everybody in a.stranglehold mr. doesn ‘ t it I ‘ll tell.you something he ‘s not gon na get me I ‘m. leaving.I can take in a film a film a movie.are you crazy.haven ‘ t you been listening to me yes.that ‘s right I ‘d like you to see this.one begun my treat a Christmas Carol.I have actually seen that motion picture a thousand times ah.there ‘s nothing like an old classic.it ‘s poetic justice he frightened.everyone far from him when he was alive.and now he benefits us when he ‘s dead.I ‘m simply grateful to get it all off me.ride who wishes to go first and the.coroner strikes me is the first to speak.he being the last to see mr. Krebs in.all include after we knock what is this.place I have actually seen those faces prior to I.know those people why did you bring me.here let me ask you a question.are there no prisons.and the Union workhouses are they still.in operation pardon me.what.that doesn ‘ t noise familiar somebody save.it let ‘s watch.alright coroner what have you got.well mr. publisher as corner having.disemboweled some of our much better known.public figures I always know the taste.of the general public the taste mr. Krebbs.himself helped cultivate.therefore I have actually never ever done an autopsy.without taking substantial grisly all.right.oddly enough for a bio though five.hundred pounds half point in royalties.and not a penny more.next hello I got the book you desire to.publish I knew something about cribs no.one else understood he then he was he wasn ‘ t.human I know no I imply Krebs is not a.human being not his genuine name you know.crêpes is the name of the world he come.from oh it ‘s real he was sent out here on.earth on an objective to damage it he was.going to take it on for just a moment.dear how well did you know this mr. Krebbs well I work for him when I did.for a day then he fired me oh so I ‘m a.though lot task so what of it you can say.anything you desire about a dead person.it ‘s a law here then I was his secretary.in his closest pals Wow.but you have actually got the dirt on him oh we.didn ‘ t be calling it dirt simply the plain.facts is I simply even day in and day out.for the last 30 years.sweaty money-changing cold gold ants.sexual preferences so it was always in.the ups of something better that should.be mentioned no I ‘m almost embarrassed to admit.it but I as soon as in fact believed that.inside that corrupted man was an art of.Galt.what happened to Krebs.just watch.hi this is scandalous garbage this is what.the public desires this is state both my.piece of trash you were all born to make.a fortune city the old man isn ‘ t alive.today he might learn from something like.that although I attempt say I wouldn ‘ t do.much excellent just keeping with the.situation i so apprec hate.turning taxes.Tony spirit.this appear that I see in the street.is this the way to be in the than the.final release print or is this just a.terrible rough time I ‘m watching.we will return – it ‘s a terrific film.following these messages truly I wear ‘ t.want to see anymore.I ‘m not cribs I ‘ll change I promise whoa.oh so down you must have had a bad.nightmare young fellow no not a.nightmare it was a wonder mr. Bailey.you ‘ve got to return on the film.you have actually got to take over direct the kind.of film you wish to make I ‘m a lucky guy.I ‘m one fortunate person come on get in.I feel fantastic I feel terrific I ‘m a new.man so be like by the method you ‘re fired.alright so how is your trip alright listen.up everyone I have an announcement.we ‘re dropping all-girls personal school.Christmas break.starting tomorrow Frank Bailey returns.to direct wonder at holiday lunch what.happened I simply learned the greatest.lesson of my entire life.you see you can ‘ t make a Christmas movie.when the only things you think of our.demographics and revenue motive and greed.a Christmas film has to originate from it.has to come from the heart no not my.heart naughty you see it ‘s time for me.to action aside and let some brand-new talent.carry on the genuine spirit of Christmas.though there ‘s just one person who can.direct wonders at Holiday Lodge and.that person is party Simmons everything.you have actually provided for me today.oh this is simply the beginning Marty just.the beginning.everybody Jeannie and I well we ‘re gonna.get married.embarrass when you ‘re shooting in terms of.the entire crew I ‘m sorry honey.but you ‘re back on the picture and not.only that you have actually got the lead.congratulations you ‘re the man of the.hour.and might your Christmas film be the best.movie yet friend I simply begin on the.radio they took a vote in Russia.no more communism they ‘re going to be a.democracy appearance it ‘s the poll.congratulations mr. centers club is.very pleased for you.I ‘ve got to be the luckiest guy on this.earth I have actually got a lady I ‘m gon na love.with we will be married.I have actually got a three-picture deal and I.suppose personal visit from Bob don ‘ t.mean nothing.oh no your holiness I value your.coming I also appreciate the greatest.gift that God look he ‘s miss Miller.all right join me in a rousing rendition.of auld lang syne fulfill please oh of.course your homies who will I make this.out to make them watch out more.Oh.well Judy what did you take yeah my dear.me too me too.
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